Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I actually pay taxes

Leak unveils first details on Google Pixel 12, Pixel 12 Pro (XL) and Pixel 12 Pro Fold - Notebookcheck

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

What is the naughtiest fantasy that you've lived out?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I don’t buy bullshit

In what ways is Bollywood becoming westernized?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Is the Philippines PH a poor 3rd world or 4th world country forever and forever?

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

How do I write a character’s physical description without it feeling unnatural and clunky? I’m able to describe their hair and body relatively easily because my writing puts emphasis on small movements and fidgeting, but I can’t describe faces.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I understand how hurricane paths work

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

In the New Testament, Christ quotes the Ethiopian book of Enoch. How do the Sola Scriptura folks square this circle?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I can read

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

What is so great about Jiraiya?

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have a reading level above third grade

Why is our generation so unhappy?

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

I can count

Why does my girlfriend keep asking me if I love her?

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

Why would Trump make conspiracy claims that Haitians are eating pets in Ohio?

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

Was Jesus Christ Jewish?

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

When have you been in an accident where the other person involved blatantly lied to the police about what transpired?

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I know who the president of Turkey really is

If people in the UK hate Trump so much, why does he own golf courses there?

I don’t cotton to rapists

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I see through liars

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

I have complete contempt for fakery

I have complete contempt for traitorism

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes